Happy Holidays from Parenting, The Biggest Job

I am very much looking forward to the upcoming holiday. My whole family will be together – my two grown sons, their wives, and their children. This doesn’t happen every Christmas, as we have to share them at times with their “other” families – meaning the in-laws on the other side.

I realize I’m so looking forward to the holiday that I almost don’t want it to arrive. The anticipation is wonderful, and I know that soon I will be looking back on it and it will be over. I’m aware of “living in the moment,” and I’m trying to do that.

Sometimes in the past I’ve put too much emphasis on what the holiday will look like: “We’ll all do this together, and then we’ll do this… and we’ll have this for dinner, and all gather for lunch,” etc. I have a vision of togetherness mixed with happiness that equals a Kodak picture of perfection. (And we’ve gotten a lot of those this Christmas, with families smiling and laughing and everything looks just perfect; but I do love those cards…)

I have to remind myself that there will be problems and issues; that if I have my heart set on perfection, I will undoubtedly be disappointed. Someone might have a cold; someone might not want to do what the majority of the others are doing, and should they have to? Someone might be disappointed or angry about something, and is that up to me to fix, if I wasn’t involved?

Having a family meeting at the beginning of our gathering might be a good idea; to share everyone’s goals for the holiday and to hear what each person might be working on in their lives or struggling with. Stating our family principles would be another good idea:  humility, truth, and courage. I wonder if anyone beside me remembers what they are. (We are not together on a day-to-day basis…) And then there’s “the one thing: the one thing I will do every day to take care of me.” (I wonder how others in my family would answer that?)

Lots to think about; and I’m still filled with anticipation, like I was as a little girl on Christmas Eve…

However you celebrate and whatever your plans, may you have a blessed holiday, and as much harmony as the truth will support.

Let us know how it goes.